Ch 8
Grain of Salt
I was a person unlike most. It was not always who I was born, but proud to make myself. California, summer of 2005. Part of a five man detail of my company (a small part of a battalion effort), we arrived early to unload all the vehicles from the train station. After a few hours of work of de-chaining (and removing, more of a break from “the work”) armored vehicles from trains, blisters were an issue. During a break when I may actually take notice, well if I had a salt packet on me (if not, the sand was good enough) I would cut the skin away and pile on that salty sweetness. The pain was great, in many regards but mainly in that I could continue working knowing the worst of the pain was then and there, under my control...
2009- A month before the new year I was force to sign an Opiod Contract with the VA. It basically stated that for the VA to supply me with morphine, I was not allowed to seek treatment anywhere other than the VA, no civilian doctor, no civilian hospital, nor self medication of any sort. If violated, they have the right to cut off all medication. Somehow, after all that was said and done, I will still contest that the existence of that contract meant they also were obligated, as long as I upheld my requirements, to fulfill their end of the contract, unless said medication is ever found to be “unnecessary“ (which it has not been to date).
Alas though the entire year saw problems in reviving prescriptions on time. At first it was reasons such as “the doctor is unavailable to fill it“ (we were told various stories, sick, vacation, or just plain too busy), “the order got lost in transaction”, or the worst, “you never called it in” (my wife particularly could not stand that one, she would pepper some ears over the phone on that response). We were told to start calling in orders at least two weeks early, but this only breed a new excuses. “Call back, it’s too early” or “well, you called it in early and someone must have forgot to submit it” found their place in the rational rotation.
What became another common problem that year was rescheduling appointments without our knowledge. A few times we would get the grace of a call the day before the scheduled appointment to let us know it was moved, to an earlier or later time, or even delayed several days. Other times we would get a call the morning of, to “remind” us that an appointment was moved up to that morning. That may have been worse than the times I would go in the office with an appointment slip only to be told I was there for nothing, the appointment had been moved.
When I was able to get an appointment and keep it, I would feel only despair after (well, ranging from angry to hopeless). Neither my wife or I could talk the doctors into giving me any new referrals, medications, treatments, or even a proper back brace. Each and every time we went to an appointment we persisted in asking about various options. I was told that since he did not know what was truly wrong with my spine they could not do anything. I had already “given up” on the pain specialist I had been referred to, and they had no “local options” (in a city of over one hundred thousand).
(Back Brace- Extended) We would insist on a full, scoliosis style back brace but the only back brace the VA ever gave me is more like a “tummy tucker“, small, with no support to the spine. One appointment I was told to go to West Texas Rehab. and I would be sized for one, then they would send a referral for it to be ordered. We went, they laughed, and said I needed a referral first. We called the VA and were told to wait until the next appointment. Well when it came we were told that they fax the referral over, and would again. So again we went to the rehabilitation center to be told yet again there was nothing they could do for me. This is your tax dollars at work mind you, not just “a few individual people in a decent system for our Veterans”.
My VA primary care doctor had recommended methadone and similar options instead of working with wife and I on options. My wife would stay up many nights researching medications including the ones I was on, but was not only stonewalled but seemingly mocked for trying to help them do their jobs. Same for my VA psychiatrist, One particular anti-depressant I said it had not been working, many side affects and no benefits. Result? The dosage was increased. A few months later, same complaint, same result, now 200mg a day. Again, next visit I made same complaint, and I get an antidote about how “it is the same medication Mike Tyson uses, and he hasn’t bitten any more ears off… (oh haha…) and to take up to 50mg more if I need to.”
Between the two doctors I was assigned I could not find one scrape of common sense. I tried repeatedly contacting the VA advocate in Big Springs with my concerns, but was told that my doctors knew more about the situation than they did and they trusted their judgment, nothing was going to be looked into. I kept trying to better articulate what was happening with each call. Instead of help or assistance in any form or fashion I received an increasing “annoyed” (many things could be said more, but my point is not to offend, but point out that someone Advocating Veteran Rights within the VA should spend a little more time looking into Veterans concerns, not ridiculing them) tone.
Now I make a big mistake, I try and delegate responsibility to someone else early in the year. I browse around a month or so and end up picking a VA lawyer based out of Houston, TX. The worst part was the distance, no face to face meetings, and aside from a call or two of actually talking, no contact aside from his assistant. Another point that should have caught me was the alleged “high volume of cases” he was doing (same terminology the VA uses to say “grab a snickers, it’s going to be a wait”). Overall being completely useless and not having a single result (no interjections with the VA, no assistance on dealing with them, no progress on my claim or even a file recovered from the VA, useless) he was fired, but not soon enough…
After the first few months of seeing how my lawyer was adrift somewhere else and no help whatsoever, I felt kicked around enough by the VA to assert myself. I started calling people myself, writing e-mails to national and local media, local and state government. Media was useless and I never even got the courtesy of a respond e-mail, out of the over one hundred ultimately sent. Governor Perry was kind enough to point me in the direction of Federal outlets, as “it is a federal issue, therefore none other than federal government could take it up” (which we did see as shortsighted, I was born and raised in Texas, and I’m simply “not their problem”…)
I developed a steady contact thru my local Congressman though, and later in the year with one of our state’s Senators. I could make a dozen calls about medications not sent out or an appointment repeatedly delayed, and nothing, With one call to the Congressman’s office though, the VA would call me within hours, with either an appointment set or medications being shipped overnight. Though they were extremely limited on what they could even look into, it was more than helpful having that little bit of security in obtaining appointments that were no longer months away from when needed, receiving medications before what you have runs out. Having that kind of support in your corner does mean something, though I progressively realized no one at all has jurisdiction or accountability over the VA but the VA itself.
Within a few months of having to clean up the VA’s messes, I was also able to push the office into contacting the VA advocate on my behalf. I felt the doctors were the source of the problems I was seeing, and it was a shared viewpoint. That is where I saw my treatment being denied, where I was denied diagnosis for my injuries (preventing my claim from any progress) and the repeated “slips” in medications they provided me to deal with them. I was told “my complaint was not the first put in on either one, and in fact both had a long list of complaints on them“, but it was the last.
Soon after, before the year was up, both doctors were scheduled to be replaced. Most likely shipped to another VA facility until they got too many complaints there, and moved again. Not actually fired, but it dose boost ego to think you mat have something for yourself that was far bigger than your own personal interest. Bigger than the sum of your gain is the gain of others in need, addictive I must admit... Either way, it felt like a victory, we assumed I had the worst doctors already, so any replacement could only be better.
